joeyjoe69:

frozenshore:

joeyjoe69:

u wouldn’t download a hot guy

hell yea i would

yeah actually so would I


July 23rdvia and source with 36,431 notes

July 22ndvia and source with 42,053 notes
Educating a FriendMe: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
Guy Friend: What's his name?
Me: I don't know. Frank?
Guy Friend: No.
Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
Guy Friend: What five bucks?
Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
Guy Friend: ...
Guy Friend: ...
Guy Friend: oh

July 22ndvia and source with 244,209 notes

July 20thvia and source with 73,447 notes

July 20thvia and source with 121,936 notes

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

maliciaous:

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

image

BUT WAIT

THIS:

image

IS:

image

SOME:

image

OF THE BRILLIANT:

image

STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

image

WHAT THE HELL


July 20thvia and source with 59,292 notes

babylonian:

a fun way to start the day is by getting a call from a robot pretending to be a human

July 20thvia and source with 71,079 notes

theliteralmagpie:

aruf0nsu:

okay so imagine an au where the potters live. harry dates oliver wood briefly. james hears of this and pulls harry aside. stares him in the eye with a deadly serious face
“he’s a Keeper”

You made an entire AU that would alter almost every facet of that series
For a pun
You’re a beautiful person.


July 20thvia and source with 130,437 notes

sherqock:

Basically


July 20thvia and source with 1,208 notes

July 20thvia and source with 1,171 notes






cred